misstelperien

I really can't explain any of this... Not at all. I am falling in love. Seriously. And I know it's too soon, way too soon. I've dated people before, I've had feelings for guys before, but this is sp completely different from anything I have ever felt. And I know for the longest time I was "in love" with Brandon, but for the most part it was more like I wanted to love Brandon, he didn't want to love me. And I loved him for all his problems, I wanted to make him a better person... It's really stupid and too hard to explain. With him I always felt like I could do better, that I should. That I wasn't cared about...
Point being. Tom doesn't even have to try, I am seriously falling for him, and he knows it. He won't let me pay for anything, won't let me buy him anything, won't let me not eat... He cares so much about how I am and what I am feeling that it kind of freaks me out, but not in a bad way. We know what each other are thinking without even asking, and when we do ask, we were already right. He was at my apartment today and I left with Troy to get tabs for my car, said I would be right back... He knew I'd made a comment or two that I needed to clean my apartment, and I said something the other day about doing my laundry. When I came back, after only an hour my apartment was damn near spitshine and 5 bucks in quarters on my coffee table.
The other day I said something about craving orange soda, and he showed up with some... He's just too nice to me. The only thing that could make today more perfect is if he showed up back at my apartment with daisies. I think he was expecting me to call him when I came back and he wasn't here and the apartment was clean... I decided to wait since the note he left me said he'd be back at 12:00. ah well, that's 15 minutes. I should go.

Naomi *venting to the good 'ol journal*

so many things have happened since I last wrote in here... Some I can't even talk about.
I haven't told anyone yet, but I am dating someone. His name is Thomas... And he's such a nice person. It's hard to explain. He treats me with respect. He treats me like how a person really should. He goes out of his way to do nice things for me. He wants to know things about me, like who I am... And what I like. And what I don't like.
He likes me... It's just weird. I can't even explain the half of it. My friend Melissa has her own little idea's on Tom and I. She thinks I am with him mostly because he is the first guy to actually treat me right. To be about me and not just himself. And while that might have something to do with it... There is more too it.
We're so much alike at times that it is scary. I can even tell him what he is thinking half of the time, and that freaks him out. He asnwers stupid little questions the same way I would. I have a reply for everything, and 90% of the time he does too. The banter between the two of us is so freaking funny. I think John would like him. In fact, so far, no one who has met him that I know of doesn't like him. And it's not that he's just too good that you know something is seriously wrong. He has his problems just like me, he has gone through his own things, most worse then mine. But he so much better of a person... Probably too good for me.
As I already said, he and I are a lot alike too, and that is just weird. I haven't even told my family about him. I know that sounds crazy, but it just seems like they always want something to talk about.
Another thing... He is a Christian. And a pretty good person. Not just another "do as I say and not as I do". I'm really starting to care about him, and I haven't even known him long. We haven't even been dating for long. I don't know where things are going to go, I just wanted to say something about it. Kind of like getting it off of my chest. I'm happy being around him. Even when we are working and am stressed, even when we are having a serious conversation that makes me upset or feel defensive. Even when we are just off having fun.
And now that I sound like a complete loser, I need to get ready for work. He'll be here to pick me up in a little while. Oh yeah, we work together. That's how we met. :-)

Naomi Marie

oh my god, I am tired... I worked both Landmark and Good Sam today... and even though I slept for about 6 hours, I feel like I haven't. And this is justr starting. I am hoping that my body will adjest to it. I am used to working long hours, so it isn't a problem like that, but it is the hours that I am working, 10pm-2:30pm...
And the only time I get to sleep is during the day. Yay! love it on those hot summer days... ;) j/j

Oh and now John isn't even talking to me. I called and left a message today and he didn't even bother to call me back. So, as far as everything with my brother... it's really bad. He is pissed because I got another Job and now am not helping him... He needs to get over it. Just mym opinion... But hey, I have myself to take care of too... Not just him.

Imoan

I spent 6 hours at Chris and Tim's lastnight, helping them pack and move... Which was awesome by the way. Tim really is an awesome guy. Then again, I have always thought that. Anyway, he has court today in Portland and needed clothes, but it was 2 in the morning, so I took them with me and at 6 this morning I did his laundry and took him and Chris some food over since they are broke until monday. Basically, I just tried to help the best I could since I know I would want someone to help me. But anyway, right, Tim might be calling me again tonight to see if I will help him with some more packing and then Friday to help with moving. Also, today I am supposed to chill with Tyler so I hope that works out. He said he would call me today. But I need to go, Maira just asked me to head out and see her...

Naomi

my 4th of July was so awesome. I went to the Yakima speedway, and a car was named after me. Nick's car. But it was so freakin' awesome. The cars kept wreaking, and one hit the concrete wall so close to us I swear you could feel it shake. Cars caught on fire, engines were leaking fluid... Don't ask me why, but it was freaking cool. In the end "Naomi" was destroyed... the part of the car that had my name on it was ripped away from other cars crashing into, especially after the races during the demolition. Then me, Shannon, and Travis watched the fireworks from the bleachers for a few minutes, but they sucked so I went home. But the day really was cool.
And Tyler is in town, I am planning on spending tomorrow with him. He called me yesterday and today, but Kendra has been with me both days. If John wants me to babysit tomorrow I am going to tell him no. Tyler is only here a few more days. I babysit Kendra all of the time. Speaking of babysitting, she keeps asking me if she can take a bath. I need to go.

Naomi

So today I told John that I don't want to work with him anymore... So now while he works, whenever he works, I'll be watching Kendra. I told him the most I will babysit her is 3 times a week. We'll see how well this works out. He wants at least 30 hours a week. *cringes* she's gonna be calling me "mommy" even more then she already does...

Naomi

So I get this call from Travis to get down to the Ave for the car show... I was getting ready for bed, but I take the 5 minutes get dressed and get in my car. Because of the traffic it took me almost an hour to get there, but hey, he actually wanted me there, so I went. I looked really nice, and I mean really nice, something no one would ever see me wear, and I had my hair and make-up still from Sarah's dinner, and Travis said I looked beautiful, and he's never said that, and it was sweet. But with him, I don't know. I can't find anything. No butterflies, no shivers just from his touch, no, how do I explain what I am trying to say and what I want to feel? Passion.
The thing with Brandon was he had passion, and in a sick sort of way I guess, I think he really did care about me at one point. I don't think Travis does. I don't think he ever will. I think his hanging around me is just because he is bored and wants another friend and he shouldn't be letting me think he cares about me. Truth is, I don't think he does. I really don't. Here's how I am going to break it down.
After the car show his Aunt and Mom asked me to take him to his aunt's house. His mom was heading back to her house and Willie was housesitting so he was going to stay at her house so he could see his cousin.
I haven't actually talked to Travis in what, a week? And after the whole Melissa thing, (long story) you would think he would want to talk to me about what happened, shit, even about him being with Ruby in the park. How could he think that wouldn't bother me? He didn't even tell me, and when I saw him his only reply was, "I thought you weren't going to be in town tonight." Yeah, that sounds really good. What am I supposed to think?
So, I drop him off at his Aunt's house and when I pull up he couldn't be more freaking eager to get out of the car and says goodbye. Fine. Dandy. I was pissed. I wanted to talk to him. I had even put my car in park. But he just got out. So I pulled out and headed home. Two minutes later I ignored common sense and turned around to go back. Knocked on the door and boom, let myself in. Travis was standing by the door and asked me why I came back. My reply, "How come you won't talk?"
His, "I haven't been talking lately, ask my sister, my cousin, anybody." Not what I wanted to hear, I just wanted him to say something to me, anything, about what's been going on. If we're even going to have "any" sort of a relationship. And all I get is nothing. So I said nevermind and turned to go, he grabbed my hand and stopped me, said I came back for a reason and asked what it was. I said, "Don't worry about it, I'm going to go." And instead of trying to stop me, to talk to me, to let me in his head for half a second and know what he was thinking, he opened the door so I could leave. He opened the damn door.
How do you explain something like that, like the way I was feeling? Not really rejected, but shutout. Closed off. He can't even talk to me. Forget it. I am thinking non of this is worth it. Why should I put out all of the effort or be the only one trying? It's not fair to me. And I don't think I could find the words to tell him that.
All I wanted was for him to try to stop me, to let me in for just a moment... But mostly to try to stop me, and the worst part is, I wanted to cry, felt like crying, and I wouldn't let myself. My whole drive home I told myself he wasn't worth my tears, and that I don't cry over stupid things. I want passion in any relastionship I'll be in. I want someone who will feel about me the way I will feel about them, and I want to feel like I am good enough. Not just making due. And right now, the thing I want is to just go to bed and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

Naomi Marie

I've had an interesting week. Really interesting. First off, yesterday was Ruth and Sarah's birthday, so happy birthday ladies... Ruth will be here on Friday and that is tripping me out. I haven't seen her in almost a year and a half. I can't even believe it has been that long.
Also, I have been spending almost every day at Maira's house. Over the last week and a half I have been with Becca, Maira or Melissa every day. My life has been a little crazy, working tons of overtime and lots of days off, then babysitting, and well, now I am sick. Maira's husband and baby were sick and I got it from them.
Today is a party for Sarah for her birthday, I still need to get some rest before I go. Don't know what I am getting her yet.
What else..
I've been going tanning for a few days now. No need to say it, but yeah, I am getting dark. I am also on a liquid diet with Maira. Basically, anything we can drink, even a milkshake, we can have, but no solid food. She was going to starve herself like last year but I told her if she did I was going to so I talked her into a liquid diet and I followed for support. I've also lost 6 pounds. I also haven't eaten real food in like a week... (Since Tyler and I went out, and I hardly even ate anything) And I tried to have a slice of pizza lastnight since Maira did and it made me vomit. Funny thing is, I am not really that hungry anymore. I had some broth yesterday and it filled me up. Now that's insane.
Hmm, what else is going on?
I worked 90 hours in 6 days at Landmark, so a good check will be coming to me on the 10th. ;) and along with that is the Ipod I have been saying I will get Tyler. Though, I'm not in a hurry because he doesn't have a computer yet. I need to call him and see if he got that job at Hot Topic.
And well, I think that is about all for now, I think I will write more tonight or tomorrow. Bye journal...

Imoan

So, Ramon is gone now... and I already miss him. I called a few hours ago and left him a message. We'll see how everything works out. He always promised we wouldn't stop being friends since that seems to happy to me with everyone that moves, but I'll see.
I'm 99.9% sure he was mad at me when he left, so oh well.
What really sucks about it is that I used to look forward to all the random calls and the "lets go eat" out of nowhere. And the movie renting and hanging out. Going to Shopco and just sitting there.
Not being bored just because Tyler was around. And I never wanted to call him because I was always worried he'd be busy doing something, but I hated when he called and I was busy, it always felt like I was letting him down, though I knew half the time he was only calling me because everyone else said no or he still had other people he could call. All I know is, my evenings are going to be boring and being spontaneous now is out the window... This sucks. Today may be a happy day for him, but it's a really sad one for me. I feel like I've just lost a really good friend. Even though he'll be back, it won't be the same. Sometimes the only movies I saw were what I saw with Tyler, because I always make myself too busy and forget to have some fun, or I will work and work and work so I can have money to do something fun and end up just working some more.
Oh well, my life's about to become boring and full of work again.
I work evening shift the next 5 days straight, 2:00pm-10:30p, and then back on days and then to graveyard and where ever they want to put me, and no days off until I don't know when.

I'm not sure if things are getting better or worse, but from the looks of what I am seeing, this sucks.

Miss Telperien

Here are a few pics from yesterday. ;) It was a lot of fun...

Bre in the bathroom... Though I think of one of me in the bathroom is a little more funny, though Bre looks hot like that.



Tyler, Kylee and Bre, relaxing...



Me for play...



Bre for play...



Tyler, trying to hide... I think. Maybe his face was cold...



Tyler, with his parents!



So that was yesterday, and it was a lot of fun. Bre has some really good pictures too... Whenever she decides to put them online...

Imoan-Naomi-Moani

i don't even know where to begin or what to say. I just spent 20 minutes venting to matthew's aol IM's away message, which he'll get in the morning and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. But I needed someone to talk to. I have a lot going on right now, and I'm just really confused about a lot of things. Like I already said, I don’t even know where to begin.
I want to go to college next year. I really want to. I am tired of just wasting my life doing nothing. Tyler’s dad was asking me when I graduated, and I felt like an idiot. Two years ago now... And I still haven’t done anything with my life. He kind of made a joke about my pay per hour and I said “well, it’s not as much as you make, but for not going to college it is okay” and then Ty’s aunt was asking about why I don’t look into becoming a nurse, which I am looking into... But I would want to go to Eastern.
Not just because Tyler is there, though that is a major plus, but because I hate YVCC. Maybe I should just visit Spokane, fill out applications and move there in December. It’s what Tyler and I talked about before, but I don’t know if the offer is still there. I am sick of Yakima, and sick of a lot of stuff here. And another thing, lately I have been wanting to go back to church or cut out all Christians completely. I feel like I am right on the line and need to decide. I think a good thing for me would be completely getting away from family and friends that I have here and spreading me wings to becoming my own person.
I feel like everyone has expectations for me that aren’t my own and I am trying too hard to be what people want and it sucks.
I’ve always maintained that I am my own person and do what I want... But at times I feel fake. I feel like people think too highly of me or to lowly and I feel like I am just bringing myself down right now. I wish some people would just leave me alone...
And for someone who doesn’t care what people think. I am finding that it hurts more and more with all these thoughts people have for me that make me out to be such a bad person. Even my friends. I know I can be a real bitch at times, but I never thought I was that bad. I don’t even know who or what I am anymore. And this is just the beginning of my problems.
I am starting to have feelings for one of my friends, and it is really scary because I adore this friend and never thought of them as a possibility for anything more then “Friend” and now I’m just confused to too many things and the timing sucks because I already have so many things going on and grr. Life just sucks right now... And I need a vacation. And I need to see Matthew and talk to him in person about crap. And well. I just need and want a lot of things.
I am sick of scrapping by month to month hoping I’ll make enough money to pay my rent, and I am sick of owing John so much money. And I am sick of working so much and not seeing any reward to it, and I am sick of not having someone I can talk to who I know won’t care what I say without being disappointed in me, and I am sick of my job and the people there. And if it weren’t for the pay I would leave already. I am going to snap soon and I already know it. Another reason I am going to graveyard hopefully nest week.
I am sick of people wanting more for me then I want for myself. I am sick of WORKING WITH JOHN! I am sick of be sick of things.
And now I am sick of myself.

Naomi

Edge fest was pretty fun... didn't hear a band I liked, but I had fun with my friends... I missed The Look and The Letting Fourth of Fire... *cries* long story. Those are the two I wanted to hear. But I went to hear GreenLightGo at Yak4 and they were pretty good. anyway, here's a few pics...

TYLER'S BIRTHDAY! EDGE FEST! AND DID I SAY TYLER'S BIRTHDAY!

Today is gonna rock!

Naomi

I gave Tyler his gift, and I think he actually liked it. Seriously, I didn't think he would. But he seemed excited! Yay Naomi! LOVE YOU, TYLER! I'm gonna go to Spokane just to use your gift!

Tomorrow I go to take my written test for the drivers test. Everyone wish me luck... my parking needs a little work... not straight on parking... but sidestreets and parallel.

Oh, and Saturday is Edge Fest and Ty's birthday, and then Sunday is his part-tay... so gonna be there. so, this weekend is already planned...

Naomi

TRAVIS GOT A JOB! he is over here sleeping right now because he got hired at Fred Myer's and started lastnight. Graveyard. 11-7 yay! wee! I'm so happy. Yes, he's the one who got the job and I am the one that is giddy. anyway, just wanted to put that there.

Moani

I babysat yesterday until almost 2am... John was in Seattle with Joleen at a baseball game, so I am tired. *sighs* What's new?

I went to Travis's aunt house on Saturday for a family BBQ, honestly, it was fun. I like his family, and I think some of them liked me. However, his cousin Brandon, I don't know, there was just something about him I didn't like. And no, it's not because of "Brandon Stone". Who knows, maybe I am just being a nerd. I guess I have to get to know him before I can judge him. I wouldn't want someone to not like me just because of my name, that would suck.

Travis had a job interview at Landmark today, but he doesn't think it went that well, God, I hope it did. Not that working with him would be that easy, but at least he would have a job and money to do what he wants... Money for his GED, and for his drivers test... and, crap... I wouldn't really mind working with him. I'm not that worried of the getting sick of each other thing... but who knows.

Tyler is graduating next week! GO TYLER! I'm so excited! oh, and his birthday is on Saturday. I have no idea what to get him. None.... crap, I suck. okay, anyway... I am heading out. That was my entry for today...

Moani
Imoan
Naomi

yah, it's been a few days... over a week. but hello journal! Did you miss me?

What's new? Travis and I have been seeing a lot of each other. A lot. And I think he is going to get hired at my work as a kitchen aid... at least from what Brenda has told me the odds are. She needs to set up the interview.

I don't think NY is gonna happen this year, I seriously doubt it now, mostly because I have no place to stay.

Tyler wants to go to Disneyland... God, if I could get the money for that, I would so be there. I guess I just need to see what happens. Speaking of "Ramon" I got the invite for his graduation today, it was so sweet! The note he put in it. THANK YOU! I am going to miss Tyler so freakin' much when he moves to Spokane. I'd beg him not to go, but it wouldn't do any good. *sniffles* There better be some good food there, because I am going to just show up when he lives there and say "lets go eat". I have like 9 days off in the beginning of June, and it's going to be a bad check, but it'll be worth it.

Ruth's trip to WA is getting closer and closer. Yay! It'll be nice to see her after so long.

What else is going on? I can't really think of something, so I'll write in this later.

Naomi-Imoan

I don't think I could even explain what kind of evening I had... and if I had had my digital camera with me, you better believe there would have been pictures.. but tonight was awesome! Seriously. Franklin Park is now my favorite place ever... ever! anyway, that is all I am gonna say right now. I'll add to it later, maybe. I need to get ready for work.

Naomi